This post is definitely more about “momming” than reading.
Recently I have been given feedback about my parenting by two random strangers. Both were much older, probably mid-60s. The first incident occurred when we were walking back from the library on a cool day, while Nolan wore layers and a blanket, and a man said, “It’s too cold out for him.”
Next, while I was at the crowded deli I placed Nolan’s birthday food order at, I sat him on the counter and let him play with my car keys for a few seconds while I signed the credit card slip. This woman said, “He’s probably going to hurt himself with those.”
In both of these situations I laughed it off. However, they’re still bothering me. I know exactly what you’re thinking — why are you letting these people get to you? Just forget all about them.
But I can’t. I spend so much of my day feeling like a complete failure as a parent. My anxiety has me at a 8.5 out of 10 on most days. I feel like I’m doing nothing right for Nolan, despite how happy and healthy he is. I’m a person who’s brain tells me constantly I’m not doing it right.
Regardless of my anxiety, this is just a quick reminder that what you say to others can affect who you say them to in different ways. Me? Ive now spent way more time that I should have crafting snappy comebacks in my head that I’d never say, but make me feel somewhat better.
If you see a mom struggling, say, “You’re doing a great job.” If you see a kid having a tough day, give him a high five or a little wave. It truly makes SUCH a big difference. I have a REALLY hard time remembering the compliments — but at least don’t be the person I remember for judging my momming.
Your doing a great job?